6 Needs of the Ego.....1,2 and 3

Okay so we have discussed what the ego is and isn't.

So here are the 6 basic needs of everyone's ego. And these are universal.

1) The Need to know.
2) The Need to be right.
3) The Need to judge.
4) The Need to justify.
5) The Need to get even.
6) The Need to look good.

Before we begin, I want you to know, though your ego is a defense and self-preservation mechanism, remember if you give it to much power it will be in control and you may turn in to a complete ass.

Okay so let's begin with the first 3.

1) The Need to Know.

We covered some of this in the last post about the Super Ego and your I.D (Interests and Desires).

The ego does want to know everything, that's why some people are prone to gossip, while others spend all there free time consumed in studies. It's a part of our nature. If you were really into something, fashion, a role model, a historic figure, sport, sports star, etc. What ever it is, if I were to sit and start a conversation with you and all I did was use prods of conversation, such as,
"Tell me more..." Though I would be genuinely interested, I could just shut up and let you talk and guaranteed you will end up telling me everything about that subject you're interested in, because your ego has to know everything.

A thought to this is because your ego wants to know everything on the basis that it can calculated the next possible and best decision you can make to better your situation and to ensure your survival. Remember the Ego is a self-preservation mechanism.

Sometimes we don't know the answer and what our ego does is provoke a knee jerk reaction that has become known as lying and/or making stuff up. We go ahead and do this and the worst thing happens, we start to live it.

Famous Comedian Chris Rock says it best,
"We lie so much its damn near a language, we lie so much we live complete lies at times". Now this is a paraphrase on what Chris actually said.
But it stands as a truth for the most part and proves my point.

Another quick thing to let you know about the Ego, it is a Drama Producing Machine.
If you are living a life of no drama in it, you will quickly find yourself watching a soap opera, the reason is because your ego finds drama exciting. "Will this happen or not?" , "Who killed who?", "Will my favorite cartoon character beat this bad guy?", etc. Do you see the drama? The ego loves it because it makes it feel alive, and if it has drama in its live and then suddenly it goes away, you will quickly find new dramas in your life or you will be in front of the TV watching a soap opera.

(SIDE NOTE)...Soap opera's are highly successful because of this one factor, they know drama drives the Ego and so they put it on so your ego can have a "nice" tall refreshing glass of drama.

Alright onward to Need Number 2..
The Need to be Right.

This is relatively short. So here goes,

Did you know most people would rather be right then Rich? Yet they constantly moan about how broke they are? Well it's true people generally would be right then rich, by this I mean to say,

Imagine for a moment, if you were in an argument with a client trying to sell a house. Now you know this house is right for them, you know the price is perfect and you know if you land this house you get a raise and you will get rich. Now you are arguing about something very random that isn't all that important. Here's how it usually plays out.

You: "Is there any problems, Sir/Madam?"

Them: "Yes, I love this house but I think the electronic switches are too far away."

You: Offer suggestion, followed by smile.

Them: Being Rude....Arguments begin.

[20 mins later]

Them: "That's it we are leaving and not buying this house."


What happened? Well your ego tried to get you to be right trying to point out that your solution was correct, and they weren't thinking incorrectly. So it fought with them because your ego thought, "If I lose, I will die." Remember it is a survival mechanism so it thinks everything and everyone is trying to kill you.

You argued lost the house deal and then bam you missed your shot at being rich there and then.

Dealing with this is pretty cool, all you have to do instead is agree with the person, don't argue and just be polite. Remember you can't control anyone, you can only influence them. So be polite and if they argue, just say something nice or nothing at all. Don't be to attached and let things be.



Onwards to the final of the 3 today:

The need to judge.

So we all have this need to judge things, people, places and so on and so forth. The reasoning behind it is so you know what is friendly and safe and what is deadly and harmful. Again a survival mechanism.

Other times it could be out of jealousy because someone is right and you are wrong, and then you feel like you need to judge there work.

Our perceptions of the world determine our judgments of people, whether they are good thoughts or bad ones. For instance, if you saw the most beautiful male/female in the world walk in front of you with there friends, one of two things will pop into your brain..

1) This person is popular and let's befriend them, I am sure they are nice.

2) This person is popular, they're probably mean and will try to kill you, run away and hide now.

The best way to curb this, is to speak to the ego and assure it that the judgment you have passed is not entirely true, and there is no way you can die by saying the words, "Hello and how are you?" to a person. Unless the assessment is this person has a gun and doesn't like me and I could get shot, then you want to listen to your ego and probably run hehe.

So if your perceptions of the world are good and you constantly look for good you will, usually by default, end up judging things as, "This is going to be fun."

I hope this helps I will continue with the next part of this soon enough.

Best wishes,

Adil