What is the Ego

Hey guys,

This is the first of 3 posts on understanding the Ego, because many people have a misconception of the Ego.

Now this is a bit of a touchy subject because some people may moan about it, but truth is. This is from Jerry "DRhino" Clark's work as well as my own personal experience as well as some naturally very confident people, etc. I spoke to a lot of people about this before writing this post.

So here goes...

Firstly what is Ego?

Some would say, "Ego is arrogance, its a bad thing, it's Edging God Out, etc"....so pretty much negative.

Others would say, "The Ego is just awesome, makes me believe in me, it helps me out and when I am in flow with my ego I totally kick butt at what I do and keeps me confident."

.....This is a view of the winners. They see the ego as a positive thing.

And the 3rd set of people say,
"The Ego is a self-preservation mechanism in your body that holds your beliefs. If you have held beliefs of confidence, joy and being great, then your ego plays them out to you. If you believe it is a bad thing and believe little of yourself, your ego makes you feel bad. You can never get rid of the Ego because it to has its own preservation in mind."

Believe it or not, number 3 is a scientific way of putting of it and yes they are the most right of the 3, number 2 was a second close and number 1, well that's just daft and anyone who thinks that way is doomed to have a very unconfident life....That's mean but it's a truth.

Now the good news, you can over come that original objection and work with the ego.

So lets delve deeper into what the Ego is and isn't.

So as you know the Ego is the self-preservation mechanism in your body that keeps your beliefs, some useful still to this day, some very harmful, to networkers and conversationalists, the "Don't talk to strangers" rule goes out the window because you know everyone is a stranger. Today people who don't have that rule in there mind go on to make new friendships with people who help them and become best friends....

Side note, think about it, your best friend, partner, circle of friends, boss, manager, co-workers, etc were all strangers at one point.

Another thing the Ego is, is a middle ground and this was a little shocking to me when I learned about it.
So you have:

SUPER EGO - This is societies programming of you, MOSTLY Lack mentality, sometimes completely LACK mentality.


EGO


Your wants and desires - This is what you would want in your life, etc.


Now the ego is in the middle, It has to please society because it doesn't want you getting hurt by being different (though this is a good thing to be different). But it doesn't want you to abandon your values, needs, wants and desires.

Judging on how you think of yourself your ego works to which is more dominant, society or your wants and desires. So that is what the Ego is.

Having a Big Healthy Ego is one of the best things to have, because it shows you have belief in yourself which is a natural trait of a leader. But the cool thing is, you don't have to do it alone, that is when your ego gets in your way, when you want to do everything ALONE, the best thing I learned is always have someone to ask for help. This keeps your feelings and Ego in check, because you're letting other people help you out.

What the Ego isn't

The Ego is NOT an excuse to be a total ass to people, in fact the ego is meant to make you confident enough to do things others won't so you can go ahead and empower people through it by uplifting there spirits.

The ego isn't an evil thing at all its just a part of you that you have to come to terms with.

Different Sizes of EGO.

Okay so we know what an ego is, what an ego isn't so what about Size?
We briefly said a big healthy ego is great, but having a small ego is the worst thing.

Permit me to explain:

Someone with a big ego is someone who has belief in themselves.
At a party or meeting, there's these sorts of people, there's the dominant guy, massive ego and definitely loving everything. The party animal, big ego, loves people and loves having a great time. The quiet shy person, believe it or not they can have a big ego as well. They maybe the person who is looking after the people throwing up or generally doing all the cleaning etc.
Even the analytical people have a lot of fun and stuff.

The same sort of people can be at the same party and be the biggest drag downs ever and cause total boredom.

This is all down to ego. You see the second group of people have small egos and thus need constant self and social validation, meaning they will constantly say they've done "xyz", they are very shy to talk to new people and when they do, they often ask themselves, later on this is, if they made a good impression and think about what they other person thinks of them, etc.

The first group are self and social validated, meaning they only are there to enjoy themselves and give as much fun to other people as possible and because they are having so much fun together, the social group will accept this person. They don't speak to much about how great they are, or if they do, it's all in humor. Or because they were asked to speak on it. These people don't ask themselves if everyone liked them, rather they asked, "When can we all meet up and do this again, because it was a really fun time?"

Best wishes,

Adil

P.S. Look out for the second part of this posting :)