How to be the center of attention.... Part 2!

Hey all!

First of all, sorry for taking too much time to post this, I've been REALLY busy and have become somewhat of a hermit.... :).

Also thank you to the people who emailed me asking for help, you know who you are. I love it when people ask because it gives me a sense of contribution and its a form of feedback, also thank you for those that commented on my facebook note :).

Okay so lets jump straight into the 2nd way of being the center of attention without being a needy, pain in the butt, small ego'd person....

So we covered Reducing Social Anxiety and now we are moving on to Self-amusement.

Now just a quick note this is just in number form, in reality all these things we are speaking about mash up together.

Okay so straight into number 2) Self Amusement.

So how does being self amused make you the center of attention?
Well if you are there being self amused you naturally draw attention to yourself and this is where confidence comes in. I have been in this position and see other people in the same place, you start doing something you enjoy, others look, without expressing there opinions you take it that they are silently judging you so you stop. Where as in reality I have found people actually enjoy it.

Now it is no secret I can not sing to save my life. But I still go out and I sing something stupidly weird like, "Zero to Hero" from the Disney Hercules movie. I have people look at me and if they've seen it, I ask them to join in and they do. This is down to the expectation of a positive outcome.

At the end of the 6 stages I will reveal to you thee most powerful source there is to being the center of attention and having what you want from it.

So to continue on self amusement. People generally find those who have low social anxiety and self amusement as people they want to be and follow. Or even be around because when you have low S.A. and high levels of self-belief and amusement you let your natural charisma take control and that makes people want to be around you even more.

In all fairness I didn't come up with this thought, I learned it from a guy by the name of Jon and he is a dating master Consultant. This guy is awesome, anyway he said that being self-amused helped him out and he teaches self-amusement and how it helps. He actually originally took the song "A whole new world" and started singing it with his friends on a night out and it had people join in, etc. Anyway Jon does teach a lot of stuff but in a dating point of view on his blog.
Click here to check it out.

How to be self-amused in a group?

Well okay lets throw you into a scenario where you are out with friends, and its a mixed group of friends, boys and girls. They're talking to someone but you want to be noticed by this someone, you become self amused. Like for example, when I went out into the city the other day, I literally just stood in one spot for 3 minutes wholly all on my own, I called some random woman and just pointed out what I was looking at and asked her something stupid like, "Doesn't that look like, xyz?"

Got a conversation going, next thing I know me and her are asking other people and at the end of it we had about 5 people starring exactly where I was originally because I was so self-amused by the thought. By the way in case your wondering we were looking at this Cloud that looked a lot like an Eagle.

So simple steps for becoming self amused:

Step 1) know what makes you laugh. Once you know this see how many other people find it funny, and if they don't. DO NOT change to say, "yeah it isn't that funny after all" because now you are losing congruence with the person/group. So stick to your guns on what makes you laugh.

Step 2) Work on your posture, the importance of posture is paramount because when you speak and something is funny and your very fluid to the body expression of the joke, people often laugh with you. They observe your body movement, if it is very stiff and you are laughing, they think your joke is not funny and if its something about yourself such as,
"I fell up the stairs today" They will think you are B.S'ing them.

Finally Step 3) Go out and start speaking to people, when you do. Make it a game with yourself to make the other person laugh. When you do this, you become the center of attention in their world. Which in turn if you do this with a group of friends, they will look at you, and you have the "floor" to speak and they will listen to you.

Oh and a final side step: DON'T BE BORING! I recently went to a seminar where one of the speakers was tremendously talented with a great range of how he could help you....BUT he was sooo boring, his deliverability was bad a lot of the crowd fell asleep.
And of course don't take anything to seriously because that doesn't come off as fun.

Best wishes,

Adil

P.S. The next post will be soon and follow me on twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/adilamarsi